I WALK THE LINE * BRAINLOCK IN GERMANY * DECEMBER 2004

6.12. Helsinki-Stockholm
As always, a tour starts with a 30+ hour journey to Germany, the first part being a 15-hour ferry ride. This time we were going to rent a van from Germany for the tour and in theory we could have flown to Germany by Ryanair but the organ is so heavy and overweight is really expensive - the damn thing is really huge and makes things complicated for this band in that respect. And of course it's nice to play with our own guitars and amps, it would be too expensive to fly those things over. So we figured it's better to suffer our way through the swedish wastelands. Luckily Wasted bassplayer Jamppa's dad works at the ferry company so we scored a nice cabin for free, which made the ride a bit more tolerable. Well, "nice" here means that there is a window in the cabin - in the cheaper ones there are only pictures of fish painted where the window should be.

7.12. Flensburg, Hafermarkt
What can you write about a 12-hour ride through Sweden and Denmark?! That's about as interesting as reading a phone book. Actually, maybe the phone book could be quite interesting compared to this experience! Oh, Sweden… anyway, we got to Flensbung around 21:30 - half an hour before we were scheduled to play. Hafermarkt is a nice place and the gig was quite all right, a good start for the tour. Flensburg is Hallo Kwitten's hometown and it was a good show from them!

8.12. Berlin, Wild At Heart
After we had driven back to Hafermarkt from the Volksbad, a club where all the members of Hallo Kwitten work and where we slept, Kwitten/Turbostaat drummer Peter managed to break the window of our van just by closing the front door. We've seen all kinds of things happen to tour vans but this was really weird, with perfect timing as well - no time to fix it as we had to start driving to Berlin for the show. We had to leave our van at the Hafermarkt and ask the locals to help us and get it fixed before we come back to pick the van up and drive back home after the tour - it could be minus twenty degrees in Finland in two weeks so driving there with no window would not be too healthy… but luckily this did not matter now because we were going to use Peter's Maxi Sprinter anyway, both bands in the same van. So we packed the Sprinter and headed towards Berlin.

Peter had bought a satellite navigation system for his van and the Kwitten guys were so happy about it, and sure it seemed to make sense. However, as we got to Berlin we found ourselves stuck in traffic for two hours, the shortest route is not always the one that makes the most sense in a big city.
Luckily soundchecks at the Wild At Heart are always really fast so there was no panic. We got fed at the Tiki Bar next to the venue, a really cool place and amazing food too! We were a bit nervous if enough people are going to come because Berlin is a hard place and there are always so many other shows on the same day as well, but in the end it was really good for our first gig there. A good response and some old friends even from Finland, what more can you ask for…

9.12. Hamburg, Rote Flora
The last time we played at the Flora with Manifesto Jukebox and Wasted, we had driven the night to get there from Oslo. When we arrived and parked the van, the first thing we saw was a booth by the wall where people dealt hard drugs, they ever had the prices written on the wall. The place was swarming with pushers and junkies. You had to watch your back all the time. Just what we want at a venue ha ha! This was Anna's first tour in Germany and after our stories i guess she was not exactly looking forward to the Flora experience - oh, and we had also slept in a freezing trailer park. But this time was different - fucked up for different reasons! Mostly our own though. The atmosphere in the place was much nicer this time around, even though it was freezing cold. It's just that Ville completely lost his voice and we could not play! That had never happened before. There was a good amount of people and it was really embarassing but there was nothing we could do. The only thing I Walk The Line could do that night was to get extremely loaded. We stayed in bars until the morning and stumbled somewhere for a few hours of sleep.

10.12. Lubeck, Treibsand
I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing and the responsible businessman that i am, i got up and answered. It was the singer of the goth metal band called 69 Eyes asking for 1" buttons. I was still totally drunk and i had not spoken with him before, it was surreal. I told him to order a lot so i could buy a new house. I haven't heard from him since, oh well… anyway, after breakfast we had time to hang out a bit which always means shopping for records, shoes and chinese take-away.

The venue in Lubeck was really nice in every way and despite the hangover we could feel it was going to be a good night. It was good to see all of the Turbostaat people again but any attempts to try and be social or even answer simple questions failed miserably. Last night had taken its toll. But a lot of people showed up and the night was really good for all bands, especially Turbostaat obviously.

The sleeping place was pretty sketchy and the allergic/astmatic people (3/5 of our band) had problems breathing. I can't imagine what had been done in that room before they put us there. Maybe we deserved it, maybe it was the punishment for the night before in Hamburg or something. Whatever. Manchmal ja, manchmal nein.

11.12. Neumunster, AJZ
Nothing beats hanging out at German christmas markets - a whole city turned into christmas market - on a cold Saturday morning. That was pretty much what the beautiful city of Luback had to offer before we had to start driving… Neumunster is one of the Nazi capitals in Germany, there is even a club called Club 88. So there was some kind of tension in the air tonight but in the end nothing happened, except some gangs had arranged a fight right before the venue but that had nothing to do with the extreme right. People were watching from ringside seats in the kitchen/band room. That's entertaintment. Until guy from the club tried to end the fight by talking or something and the two gangs united to kick his ass. Oops!

The gig was really good for us, one of the best ever. Great sound too, thanks to the Turbostaat sound engineer. Also Turbostaat were in a good mood, people were going crazy and really young kids climbed to the stage to mosh it up and play air guitar so in the end Roland gave the kid his guitar and told him to play. Well, at the next gig there will propably be 10 of those kids… because of the nazi threat we could not stay at the venue but drove to some kid's place in a nearby village. We were pretty drunk an disorderly by this point and the kid seemed to be scared. Sorry for setting your toy snake on fire - Hot Snakes, you know! Sorry, we are from Finland.

12.12. Bonn, Bla
The kid took us to his parent's house for breakfast. Scary, for both sides i guess. He was really keeping an eye on us.

The drive to Bonn was the first long one after the very beginning, which did not really matter on this tour because the van was equipped with a TV & DVD player so the longer the drive, the better! This was the first time we had this stuff in a van and touring will never be the same again i am afraid. By the way if any of you are wondering what the hell "brainlock" means -aside from IWTL & Hallo Kwitten's touring condition - you should check out the brilliant movie "Roadie", starring Meat Loaf!

Bla is a nice bar, maybe not so busy on a sunday night but still it was a good gig, many old friends and a good time. And the best food on the tour, amazing stuff! Everybody was buying Jägermeister for us and the girls at the bar even wanted to trade CDs for the stuff which suited us fine. When the place closed we drove to Martin ex-Scene Police's house for the night.

13.12. Aachen, AZ
I got up and tried to walk through a glass door. Luckily i failed. Other than that it was a nice quiet morning with warm showers and all. We had time to hang out in Köln before driving to Aachen which was nice, surprise surprise we bought some shoes. In Aachen we played at the AZ, an old somewhat legendary venue that was recently re-opened. Loading in there was not the most pleasant thing to do and when we started to soundcheck it turned out Anna's organ was broken. We were starting to panic but the sound guy opened the instrument and managed to fix it and after all it was actually a really good gig! We moved the stage and played on the floor which was a good decision. Afterwards we drove back to Martin's place in Bonn, watching Rocky on the way. The Kwittens didn't usually drink much because Peter always had to drive but now Martin was driving so the party went on until pretty late - or early, how ever you want to look at it…

14.12. Karlsruhe, Ex-Steffi
The Ex-Steffi used to be a really good place. I don't know how many times we have been there, many times even spent day offs there hanging out with friends. This time however was totally different. Nobody seemed to give a shit about anything, at least not the people in the bands. There were junkies hanging out all over, the toilets and the whole place were just trashed compared to what it used to be. A pretty hostile environment. I guess they are under constant threat of eviction and that takes its toll. So it comes as no surprise then that the gig was not very good, there was nobody there really and whatever joy there could have been in playing music, it was ruined by the sound guy. That could been seen straight away when we arrived with the organ, the guy asked us what that thing is and laughed. So, the only bad night on the whole tour if Hamburg doesn't count- which is a pretty good score but a shame that it had to be here. Luckily we didn't have to stay for the night, a friend of the Kwittens let the bands crash at his place and offered to book Wasted in a different venue next March.

15.12. Esslingen, Komma
Esslingen is not that far from Karlsruhe so we had plenty of time to hang out and shop for yet more shoes, which we of course did. Karlruhe is a nice city. The drive was easy and so was also arriving to the Komma in Esslingen, really nice venue and friendly people. Felt really good, the total opposite of yesterday. There was not only a good kicker table but also a ping-pong table, felt really good to do something for change, not just sit around and drink because there is nothing else you can do, ha! The food was the worst on the tour though. But whatever, it did the job and the gig was good, a good atmosphere.

16.12. Giessen, AK 44
It took forever for everyone to get up and get ready to leave, hours literally. We were in Giessen pretty late and when we arrived it was freezing cold and too dark to play kicker. But hey there was a TV in the band room so Peter brought in the DVD player from the van and so we watched Conan The Barbarian and Black Label skatebarding all night so things could have been worse. Somewhere in between we also played the gig and it was better than we could have expected, a lot of people had showed up while we were sat backstage watching Conan, and it was now far from freezing. It was unbearably hot, which at a show is a good thing mostly!

17.12. Mulheim, AZ
Once again it took everyone forever to get up, it was freezing cold and there was no shower. Moments like this are sometimes hard for me because i can never really sleep late. The other people in this band have no problems in that department. So i sat there for hours, freezing my ass off and listening to people shouting the beautiful german language from all directions. Easily the worst morning on the tour. Oh well… i just kept thinking i will see Turbostaat again tonight and it got a bit better.

We had kind of bad experiences of the venue in Mulheim from the last time, one of the worst sound guys ever. And it didn't get any better this time either, the guy did not want to have anything to do with us, not even do a soundcheck. But luckily Turbostaat's sound guy saved us and did sound for us too, thanks again! The venue was really packed with hundreds of people and the gig was awesome for all bands. Afterwards things got a bit out of hand for some people, for example fire extiguishers were involved. Then there was the obligatory german disco party and a boxing match finnish style. All in all a great night for most of us at least!

18.12. Darmstadt, Oetinger Villa
The drive to Darmstadt and the waiting time before the gig was pretty quiet especially for a certain german punk drummer ha ha… but it was not fun for anyone, the night in Mulheim was too much. Hallo Kwitten barely survived through their set without throwing up on stage. And the last I Walk The Line show with Antti on drums, what a spectacle! Well, actually everything was just perfect, the venue was an amazing beautiful old villa, really big and sold out - after 400 people were crammed to the hall the organizers did not let more in. We had planned to play a really long gig, all the songs we have and blah blah… but what we did was play our shortest set ever, even including a Rolling Stones cover! Oh well… but this night belonged to Turbostaat, their set was totally amazing and people were going nuts. The feeling they are able to create and the response they get is hard to describe.

Afterwards it was time for one last disco party, this time in a real disco downtown. I guess we had a good time. Until most of us finnish people had enough and decided to walk back to the Villa. It did not feel like a long time but when we got there the people who had stayed at the disco had already been there a long while and were really worried. They had called us, and we had answered but refused to speak at least in any human language. Instead we had just been laughing and walking in some random direction, talking about martians, with no clue about what we were doing. OK, this sums up the tour too well!

19.-21.12. Darmstadt-Flensburg-Stockholm-Helsinki
What a feeling to wake up after the last gig knowing that you have to drive 1700km and take a few ferries to get back home! Add to this the fact that your own van is standing broken in Flensburg, every german person in sight is very hung over, you don't have a clue what is happening around you and it is Sunday. Not the best day to go shopping for car parts. There is a chance you might have to stay in Flensburg instead of driving to catch the ferry. It is holiday season so the next ferries to Finland might already be booked full. Ah, touring… but in the end everything was OK, the germans just have too fancy cars and are not used to the problems we have every day with our piece of shit vans ha ha!

So, we drove through the night without stopping and were in Stockholm in the morning. We had the whole day to hang out. It was horrible. We were tired out of our minds and the weather was freezing. Why did we not fly to Germany and back instead of driving anyway?! I guess it would have been too easy and too cheap.

There are not many things that are worse than the Sweden-Finland ferry but i wanted to get there soon so bad. And eventually we of course did, which meant the beginning of the usual stupidity. Going to the sauna and jacuzzi at the ferry is usually a cool way to end the tour but this time it turned out a disaster including shady businessmen, a whale-sized manimal checking us out very closely in the shower, and a gay nazi. Gambling was not very successful either. Yeah, all on black, there's an idea! And then the nightclub…

So the last show was on Saturday and we finally got back home on Tuesday. Well, not exactly home but straight to work, not a very nice day but it's not a part of this story anymore… but all in all it was an amazing tour, it's easy to say it was IWTL's best so far because there is not much competition but even including all the tours i have been on over the years, it was one of the best so thanks again to Peter, Gerry, Quicksie (did i get it right?!), Jan, Marten, Roli and Tobi!!!